tiggerprr’s scratching post

Those of you who follow my Project 365, know that my Uncle Adolph passed away on January 2, at the age of 84. He lived a very long, productive and most importantly a good life. His funeral was yesterday, but I was unable to attend due to distance.

I am the youngest of all the children of my Dad’s nine brothers and sisters. And I spent half of my childhood living abroad due to my dad being in the Air Force. As a result, I never got to spend entire summers at Uncle Adolph and Aunt Effie Mae’s house like a lot of my older cousins did. Heck, even my Dad lived with them for a couple years after he graduated from high school. You see, there was 19 years separating Uncle Adolph (the oldest) and my Dad (the youngest).

One of my cousins, Vickie, wrote a lovely tribute to Uncle Adolph and his lovely bride, my Aunt Effie Mae, who survives him. It moved me, enough so that I’d like to share it with you. Without further adieu, I give you “The Principles of the Butterbean”:

Principles of the Butterbean
(Wisdom from Uncle Adolph & Aunt Effie Mae)

I. First principle of the butterbean - Never pick ‘em til they’re done.

A. Butterbeans need to have time to grow.
1. Do not reach their fullest potential until they have absorbed all the nutrients from the soil, rain and sun.
2. It is interesting to note that God also plants us in places that are the most conducive to our growth…places that will challenge us and move us in the direction He has planned for our life.

B. Uncle Adolph and Aunt Effie Mae served that role in my life.
1. They allowed me to return to their home summer after summer to hang around, perhaps hoping I would absorb the nutrients of discipline, love, and acceptance from their family. They sowed those seeds into my life.
2. Now, if you know anything about this family, you know that life at the with them was not a garden party or romper-room type environment. When I visited there, I was not treated like a VIP visitor. I was treated like the silly, bratty kid that I was. I had to make up my bed, help with the meals, work in the garden, and my personal favorite, shell butterbeans. I told Aunt Effie Mae not long ago that, upon reflection, I must have been a glutton for punishment, but the fact is that something kept me coming back summer after summer.
3. I doubt that Uncle Adolph ever spent a lot of time reflecting on all this and probably never planned any special activities or method of child-rearing that was intended to address my specific needs. He just was who he was and allowed others to be and do the same. Somehow, in that process, God used him and his family to mold my life into something meaningful - at least for me.

II. Second principle of the butterbean - Always finish the row. Always shell ALL the beans in your pot.

A. We were what some might classify as ADD butterbean pickers and shellers. We were very easily distracted. We acted silly, sang stupid songs, giggled and threw dirt and beans at each other and generally acted like kids. Uncle Adolph was pretty tolerant until all that got out of hand. Then he would quickly remind us to “cut it out” and focus on finishing the row.

B. Now, when you give a bowl or pot of raw butterbeans to a bunch of restless kids, sit ‘em out in the backyard beside a bayou, there’s just too much potential for creative bean-shelling!

One hot summer day, probably under the leadership of Wilma, we decided that we could finish shelling our assigned butterbeans much faster if we threw some of them into the bayou. No one would ever know the difference and we could move on with our plans of going to the A&W if we hurried up the process a bit. Being the ignorant kids that we were, we proceeded to dump some of the butterbeans into the bayou, never stopping to realize that it would only take a few minutes for the “pros” (Uncle Adolph or Aunt Effie Mae) to realize what had happened. Well, we were found out and forced into confessing our sin. Our punishment was swift, precise, painful and very time-consuming. We had to crawl down into that bayou and retrieve every butter bean. It took forever and our dreams of going to the A&W quickly faded into the distance. I never forgot that experience. I learned that it’s a whole lot easier to do it right the first time.

III. Third principle of the butterbean - Know who you are and who you are not.

A. In Uncle Adolph’s family, there was no doubt about who was the boss. You didn’t have to wonder or ponder over that. Although I was just a “temporary” kid, I was still treated like the rest. It was not our job to make big decisions or run the family. It was our job to be kids - to run, play, be silly, make mistakes, do what we were told and just be a part of the family. It was very important that each person do their part.

B. Later on in life, I realized the importance of this principle personally and professionally. When I would struggle with what I believed or when I became confused about the ethics of a given situation, I would be reminded of this simple principle. In 1986, I was faced with some such dilemma and coined a phrase that has become a sort of “mantra” for my life and also for training employees in marketing & recruitment, TV production, and higher education administration. It simply says: KNOW who you are, SAY who you are, BE who you say you are.

It may seem kinda silly to say that a life-guiding principle came from a butterbean. But the fact is that it is the result of the “seeds” that were planted in my life early on by Uncle Adolph and this family. It has sustained me and provided a basis for all that I believe. And, just as dad mentioned in his comments today, I have also tried to sow those seeds into the lives of others.

IV. The fourth and final principle of the butterbean - Accept butterbeans (and people) for who and what they are.

A. Butterbeans are just butterbeans. There is no magic in them, but they serve a specific purpose in the grand scheme of things. We are each created to bring glory to God, beauty and blessings into the lives of those around us, and to leave our little corner of the world a better place than it was when we came into it.

B. Butterbeans are part of a beautiful garden. Uncle Adolph took such pride in his garden. He was meticulous in the way he cared for it. One of the most beautiful sights you can see is that garden at dusk or at daylight when the mist has settled over it and just a hint of light shines through. Every plant in that garden becomes a part of that beauty. I bet that Uncle Adolph loved looking over that garden at the end of a long, hard day - knowing that his work was done and that the fruits of his labor would be enjoyed by his family and friends for years to come. I bet that’s what he’s feeling right now.

V. Final Thoughts

So, Uncle Adolph and Aunt Effie Mae, I thank you today for planting those seeds and for allowing this “butterbean” to grow in your garden. Thank you Wilma, Doyle, Deannie, Jackie, Joyce, Lonnie, and Lester for putting up with me for all these years. God has used all of you to enrich my life in ways that you will never know and I will be forever grateful.

If we are sincere in our desire to honor Uncle Adolph’s memory, we have only to leave here today determined to sow the seeds in others that he has planted in each of our lives.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 7th, 2007 at 10:06 am and is filed under Family, Life, Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.