Isn’t She Lovely?
Ashlyn was supposed to go to her “Miss [insert HS Name Here]” Pageant with a friend on Saturday, but her friend couldn’t go at the last minute. I went with her, though again, I was not all prettied up. At least I had some makeup on this time. Can you believe they charged $10 per person at the door to watch a pageant!? They did! I suppose they need to fund the scholarship somehow, as this is a “scholarship” pagent.
The reigining “Miss [insert HS Name Here]” is one of Ashlyn’s friends. She is quite lovely and talented and it was a pleasure to watch her perform and listen to her speak about her year.
I’ve never been to a pageant and apparently they are all the rage here in the south. Ashlyn’s friends tried to pursuade her to participate in this pageant. My daughter, while extremely beautiful, has never been the pageant entering, routine dancing, girly-girl type of girl. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a girly-girl, Ashlyn is just more like her Mom. Snarky and Girly Lite.
I saw some of the strangest talent entries, a dancer to a revamped “Baby Got Back”, it was morphed into “Baby got Book” with giant Holy Bible props. So much for the separation of chuch and state/school. I couldn’t help but kind of tilt my head to the side and wonder how dancing sort of suggestively to what used to be a song about big butts with the words changed to a religious theme glorifies God. Especially at a state run school. But I digress, just struck me as highly odd. Ashlyn remarked that if she DID try to enter one of these things, what on earth would she do for talent since 90% of the girls did some form of dancing and all of their talents were musical. I told her that she could do a monologue, since she shines at public speaking. Can you believe the school sponsors this pageant, yet has no speech/debate team?
The host, reminded us of Mike Wyzowski, Billy Crystal’s character in Monsters, Inc. at the end, where he was doing the little cabaret act. I expected him to start singing “She’s out of my hair, just when I dared to care…” They had him sing several times as the girls were changing. Oh. My. Heck. He was wearing a full leather suit. Sang songs in a fashion that would have made Liberace proud. And the high school crowd egged him on, which made him go into camp overdrive. Ashlyn and I slunk down in our seats, looked at eachother with wide eyes and mouthed “Oh. My. God.” It was like we were in some sort of weird pageant alternate universe.
They had a “modeling segment” where some of the students featured in the “Girls of XXHS” 2007 calendar dressed up in the latest prom fashions and strutted the runway to music that sounded straight out of Zoolander. I am assuming to allow the girls to change into their evening gowns. The fashions were cute, and a Powerpoint presentation of the Calendar photos flashed on screen. Later on, they had the boys featured in the “Boys of XXHS” calendar do a modeling segment too, in Cowboy gear, since the Spring Musical this year is “Oklahoma!”. Whoda thunk that you could get your high school’s cute and seemingly popular boys to strut like a runway model to Zoolander music?
The contestants then each came out one at a time to model their evening gowns and answer such hard-hitting interview questions as “If you had to merge two clothing stores, which two would you merge and why?” and “Should Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen continue to design clothes?” Perhaps I expect too much, but those questions, and yes they are real, seemed trite and contrived. I understand that they want to keep things in a context that the girls can relate to, but really, fashion and Mary-Kate and Ashley? I would hope that the person the school wants to send off to college with monetary aid would be able to answer a little more enlightened question, and do it more articulately than “They should, because not everyone can afford fashion”. But that’s just me.
It was a surreal experience for sure. But, I told Ashlyn that as goofy as we thought the whole thing was, that if she ever decided to do anything like that, I’d be right there, clapping like crazy, tears streaming down my face, proud as I can be of her. And I would be.
As we were leaving, Ashlyn looked at me and says, “You SO have to blog about this.” I was already planning on it. Like Mother, Like Daughter.
January 29th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
What an interesting study in human behavior. And you’re right: your daughter is very beautiful.
Yes, it was an interesting experience for sure. Thank you, I believe I’d think she was beautiful even if I didn’t have the Mommy-bias thing going on.
January 29th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
ROFL - I’ve heard the south has some extreme pageant affairs. It’s the only place that seems to keep them alive as the rest of the world has taken to the reality TV take on them. Your daughter is very beautiful!
Hugs,
Holly
Holly’s Corner
January 29th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
You already know what I think of Ashlyn (her looks and her brain) so I won’t rehash them. I’m crackin’ up that you two BOTH went to observe this staple of Southern life and then assumed that you would blog about it! You are so very much of the same mind.
I think if Ashlyn DID decide to compete in something like this, she would absolutely have to do something to showcase her unique humor and intelligence.
January 29th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
I don’t think the high schools here have a beauty pageant, at least not when I was attending. It does sound like a memorable experience. There’s no doubt that Ashlyn would win 1st prize! The other girls wouldn’t stand a chance!
January 29th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Great minds think alike! Ashlyn would win 1st prize for sure!
January 29th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Your daughter is very pretty, I agree… she would have blown away the competition. :O) I ove that she knows you well enough to know you were going to blog about it, and even suggested that you do it. Too funny!
January 29th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
I saw some of the strangest talent entries, a dancer to a revamped “Baby Got Backâ€, it was morphed into “Baby got Book†with giant Holy Bible props.
Yes, hello, welcome to the South.
I taught at a Catholic school one year and for some school assembly they made all the teachers sing the song, “My Guy”, as, “Nothing you can say could take me away from My God,” etc.
January 29th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
very bizaar indeed.. my son’s hs has a Mr. South contest and when Matt did not enter I asked why. he said “well i don’t really have a talent’ After watching what passed as talent from some of the contestants i siad to him the next day “you could have walked on stage and talked about how to throw a curve ball and been more interesting then 95% of them”
January 29th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
The closest I ever got to anything like this was homecoming festivities. But we didn’t have to perform, except on the football field - and that was just natural.
January 29th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Note to Jenny Ryan: that song is from “Sister Act.” Many Catholic musicians do a cover like this since that movie came out.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:34 am
So, are pageants not as common in the North? I guess I’ve always been accustomed to them living in the South.
I would have loved to hear the interview questions on stage though. All of the pageants that I’ve been to, the contestants always done the interviews beforehand, only in front of the judges.
I was actually in a few beauty pageants (not competing, of course). Usually, there was some kind of a theme, and we’d do a play or skits around that theme during dress changes. It was always fun writing out our own show and performing in it.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:04 am
When I took care of my oldest daughter full-time, I thought for sure she would be a tomboy. But she’s 100% girly-girl. When she doesn’t have school, she wears her princess costumes around the house.