It’s Fair Season, aka Time for Death on a Stick
Crossposted from Hello!Food
As summer draws to a close, many states across the country are celebrating their State Fairs. With that, comes competitions for the best pickles, the best cows, the best sheep, well you get the idea. The masses swell for concerts by favorite artists, to ride the rides, get creeped out by the fair game carnies and to view the spectacle that is the Butter Cow, if you’re at the Iowa State Fair. But let’s face the facts, you and I both know the real reason that anyone vists the State Fair is the food.
Every year I look forward to several items of food from the Fair, most of them served on a stick. All of which I will name for you now! OK, no I won’t…but I started feeling like I was channeling Tina the Tour Guide from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure for a moment. During the normal course of a year, you probably couldn’t pay me to eat some of the things I will consume in just one day at the fair. OK, there’s a few things here I would eat everyday if it wouldn’t ensure that I’d be dead of a heart attack before I turn 50.
Corn Dogs (Yes, on a stick) - these are a major staple at the Illinois State Fair. It amazes me because the line is forever and a mile long, so we naturally had to stand in this long line to see what all the fuss was about. We still don’t know. It was, to us, just a corn dog. However…the people in Springfield, IL seem to thing it’s the bomb.
Pork Chop on a Stick - Oh my goodness what yumminess is that. Tender, juicy, and it’s on a freaking stick!
Pizza on a Stick - My stepson had one of these, they look more like a Calzone on a Stick, I guess the difference is there was sauce in it. He said it was just ok. I thought they looked “just ok” myself.
Chicken, Beef or Various Meats - on a stick. I’ve never personally tried these but they do exist so are worth a mentioning.
Grilled Corn on a Stick - I’ve always wanted to try this, but I’m afraid the corn would be tough. Some of you readers will have to chime in and let me know if it’s good or not.
There’s the Candy Apples, ice cream bars and the Cotton Candy, all served on sticks, for those of you with a sweet tooth.
But for me, the Mother of all “on a stick” foods is the Deep Fried Twinkie on a Stick. Oh Jeezy Creezy (he hates being called that by the way, Eddie Izzard says so), those things are like well…heaven on a stick. I was going to say sex on a stick, but that sounded somewhat, obscene. I thought the mere idea of a deep fried Twinkie sounded disgusting. But OMG, I could be wooed by one, definitely. This isn’t something I, or anyone else for that matter, should be eating on a daily basis, but man, would I like to. I’d be as big as a house in less than a year, but my tongue would be happy, happy, happy! You can usually get the Deep Fried Oreo (a dissapointment to me actually) and Deep Fried Candy Bars (Snickers, Milky Ways, etc) at the same stands. But no thanks to all that for me, just gimme my Deep Fried Twinkie and I’m REALLY satisfied, sick, but satisfied. Seriously, you almost need a cigarette after eating one, and I don’t even smoke. It’s THAT good.
I always have to chuckle at the “international” sections, that seemingly never have people from the actual countries serving up the ethnic foods.
My husband would be dissapointed if I didn’t mention the Strawberry Crepes from the Illinois State Fair, they are delectable. Picture the thinnest pancake ever, filled with vanilla pudding (probably from a giant can) and strawberries in syrup. Top that with a significant portion of fake whipped creme and voila! Yummbly in your tumbly! 
I personally enjoy the spirally potato chip things…I can never eat one order by myself and usually the whole family pitches in to devour that. Deep Fried Veggies - They remind me of tempura. YUMMO but man they make me feel like crap. Funnel Cakes and/or Elephant Ears are the food of choice as you’re leaving the fair for us. I personally love on the Funnel Cakes, but there are those among my family that prefer the Elephant Ears.
I usually feel like a greaseball at the end of our visits to the State Fair, but I figure one day of culinary debauchery each year can’t be a totally bad thing, right?
What are some of YOUR favorite fair foods?
August 23rd, 2007 at 7:02 am
I said it before…and I know I am boring… but COTTON CANDY
And here they call them Pronto Pups…never had one EVER…actually not so bad…
August 23rd, 2007 at 11:39 am
Oh and I just had breakfast. I wonder if I can get the Woman to feed me more.
She says she read about a deep fried candy bar on a stick? Like milky way or snickers, deep fat friend in a funnel cake type batter and then you eat it. How fattening is that?
I am certain that there’s not a calorie in the lot of all that stuff. ::looks around and whistles:: The candy bars are just ok, the twinkies though…dang…it’s my second biggest weakness
August 23rd, 2007 at 3:51 pm
I’ve always wanted to try a deep fried oreo or candy bar. This is the first I’ve heard of the deep fried twinkie! I may have to try it.
August 23rd, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Elephant ears…yum-OH! I’ve had the corn on a stick, which is actually pretty juice and sweet.
Will someone please get Vinny his cotton candy????
Let’s see…what else do I like at the fair? Uhm…chocolate dipped bananas, cheese or garlic fries, and slushies. Slushies aren’t as good as Slurpees, but they’ll do for something cool and refreshing. Plus you can use the condensation on the cup to wipe the grease off your face and fingers.
And I thought I was the only one that used cup condensation as a cleaning device! We are kindred spirits!
August 23rd, 2007 at 10:24 pm
wow, I just thought Oreos and 3 Musketeers fried were bad, Twinkies have got to be just awesomely awesome!
They are insane how good they taste. I think Twinkies are just ok, as they are, slightly better when frozen…but you batter that sucker up and deep fry it, sprinkle a little powdered sugar on it…it is a tastebud extravaganza.
August 24th, 2007 at 2:03 am
OMG! I didn’t realize there were so many kinds of food you can get on a stick!
August 25th, 2007 at 2:05 am
I use cup condensation for hand cleaning. I’m a mother of young kids, ya know, but I’ve done that for years before I ever became a mother. We don’t actually get too much condensation on cups here in the desert - everything evaporates quickly!
I was thinking what Trav was thinking, “Would someone PLEASE hand Vinny some cotton candy?”
Me? For food on a stick, my choice is a caramel apple. Not a red candied apple, but the caramel dipped apple, rolled in peanuts. If it’s rolled in chocolate chips, even better.
Other fair food faves are elephant ears (out here it’s called Indian Fry Bread), fresh roasted corn on the cob, and Italian sausage (and, no, I don’t mean you, Vinny).
Don’t actually attend fairs anymore, but at our church festival, we have some pretty great food booths. My favorite ones are the Gyros booth and the Philippine food booth - yum!