tiggerprr’s scratching post

As some of you may know, I lost my husband last week. Right now, I feel like every bit of pain I’ve ever felt in my 41 years of life has been balled up and handed to me to feel again, except this time…all at once. It’s overwhelming to say the least.

He left behind a family of me and our three children. Our loss is immeasurable and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

We didn’t have a perfect relationship…but really, what relationship is? There isn’t one. Now, I’m finding it hard to either stay in our house, or to leave it and go out somewhere because I can’t escape the memories in either place, nor the pain. I hope that wherever he is, he knows how much we all love him and miss him and that he’s at peace.

I’ve said here previously that I didn’t have a lot to say lately, and that’s been true for a while. Now I think, I have material as I work through this grief and try to piece everything back together again, and hold things together for our kids. It’s not easy trying to be a rock for everyone else, when you, yourself are falling apart.

I just don’t know how I’ll get through this. I know that sounds selfish when I have to think about three kids…but I honestly don’t. I’m not accustomed to feeling this much emotion all at once and certainly not this kind. I wonder when I’ll start feeling anything more normal…

I’d like to thank those of you who offered your words of love & support on both my blog and my friends’ blogs. I’ll write more soon… and I’ll leave you with this… do make sure that you never leave the house angry…and that your parting words with those you love are ones of love and not anger…because you never know when you won’t get to come home to say “I love you.” or “I’m sorry.”