tiggerprr’s scratching post

When life hands you lemons…make lemonade.

Exactly one year ago, this very minute, I was learning of Ken’s death and that my family’s world was irrevocably changed. I often wondered how I would make it through a day, much less a year. They say that the first year after such a loss is the hardest. It sure wasn’t easy. I’ve written about some of the events that have transpired during the last 365 days, some good, some bad, some REALLY bad. I can honestly say that at the end of it all, I am a happier person, not BECAUSE it happened, but DESPITE it happening. It didn’t destroy me, when it could have. I’ve done things that I didn’t think I’d be able to do on my own…and I’ve done some things I couldn’t have on my own without the aid and love of friends and family and through God’s grace.

Probably the most valuable lesson I’ve learned is that time is precious and unpredictable. If you are feeling something, you should let it be known. We always say “Life’s too short…” but how many of us actually stop and practice life (because let’s face it that’s all we’re doing, practicing…none of us have it down pat) with that philosophy? I’ve been hard at work, once I got moved and settled, to embrace that philosophy. To tell the people who mean something to me, that they do. To live, to laugh and to love, fully with wreckless abandon. My life is fuller now than before, because of it. There have been huge losses and prices to pay for that and I think about those all the time, but sometimes truly, things have to get far, far worse before they get better. And sometimes, the thing that’s best for you, seems like the worst thing ever. The things we’re most afraid of, we should face head on. Situations that aren’t healthy for us, we need to find the strength to let go of. People who we love, we need to express it to…and we should be thankful for that which we have, not remorseful of the things that we do not.

I’ve had to say goodbye to more people than Ken. Some by my choice, some against it…and I think about those people all the time even still, hoping for the best but accepting that change isn‘t always by our choice.

We are never guaranteed tomorrow…but now, I look forward to waking up every day to see what life has in store for me…to see the people who make my heart smile, and oh how it’s smiling.

Embrace your life…the good, the bad, the ugly. You only get one, live it well and fully. Drink your lemonade.

When we’re confronted with the turns that life’s road makes that lead us down a dark and dusty path, it’s really easy to allow it to consume you. It’d be simple to allow your soul to slip into a world of sadness and despair, anger and bitterness, loneliness and isolation…and who could blame you really? I’m not just speaking of death, though that’s my dark path for now…it could be something as simple as your job not being what you need it to be, your relationships not being what they could be (romantic ones, co-workers, even with your children) or even your relationship with your health as that’s often an unrelenting struggle for some of us. What gets lost sometimes, are the blessings that come from those hard times and situations.

Yes, there ARE blessings to be found in even the most dire moments of our lives. For me, those blessings come in the form of my children, in whom I see an unbelieveable strength and kindness as they help me, help us, try to move forward with life, as we MUST do. Simple gifts, like coming home to them, giving the house a good cleaning up without being asked to do so, or giving me a hug when I look like I need one, to expressing love more often and compassion. My other blessing of light in this darkness is the huge number of friends, both friends I know in real life and whom I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting, yet. I have been overwhelmed by the support and kindness of so many people who have no motive to help me as a friend, just BEING my friends and lending an ear, or words of encouragement or giving me something to do so that I don’t feel so dreadfully alone as I do at times. These things and people, give me hope that it’s ok to live, it’s ok to laugh, it’s ok to look towards the future, albeit a different future than the one I had planned.

These blessings are a gift…they comfort and assure me that though I am navigating a dark and scary path…that my kids and I are not walking it alone. For that, I thank you.

And so the next chapter of our lives begin… the one where we find the paths to happiness again.

For this month’s Perfect Post Award, sponsored by Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil and Kimberly at Petroville, I chose HK Muse’s post about the roller coaster that is life. It touched me to read about her “most important days”. It’s always good to take an inventory of one’s life and remember all the good, the bad and the downright awful. The latter two, make you appreciate all the good in your life.

I’ve actually known HK Muse IRL for a few years now, since she started dating Cybrpunk. I remember thinking she was pretty cool and I hoped that Cybr wouldn’t screw things up! LOL Apparently, he’s pretty smart, since he married her and my first impression of her must have been right. Take a moment and go check her out! She helps homeless kitties in Hong Kong too, she can’t be all bad, eh?

(If I don’t post something in the next couple days…Yoshi killed me, and you should send a search party.)

I’ve been working. Loving it! (So far. I’m ever the optimist LOL). Soooo much less stress…sooo much more appreciation. I like it so much, I think I’ll actually take my Successories in there. I never took any personal crap to the last job, unless you count chocolate and Special K bars. We’ll see how it goes.

The kids also started school this week. So we’ve been adjusting our schedules and getting used to waking up on time to get five of us out the door and to our respective destinations. So far, so good.

I’ve also been playing WoW, but I am NOT addicted to WoW as someone seems to think. I just enjoy it, I could quit any time. I just choose not to.

Our first recording of our joint podcast led Yoshi to decide that we needed to have 2 podcasts, one where he and I co-host and interview fellow bloggers about themselves and their blogs. Jenny Ryan has graciously agreed to be our first victim interviewee. I just have to get off my butt out of Azeroth long enough to help Yoshi prepare some good questions for her. If you’d like to be interviewed by Yoshi and I, drop either of us an email, we’d love to hear from you!

We’re also going to go with our other podcast idea which is a mass hodgepodge of general discussions about topics of the day, news, movies, games, vacuum boobs, what Britney Spears isn’t wearing, etc…

So some pretty exciting stuff going on behind the scenes here! I’ll keep you posted!

Oh, and the cats are fine but OC seems to be a little more verbal and needy now that people aren’t around all day again.

Well yesterday was my last day of work. The powers that be, decided that they couldn’t “afford” the 2 extra days of notice that I gave them. They can’t…because the office is overstaffed by 2 people. It’s too bad, because I was still working like I planned on retiring there, since that’s how I am. Their loss.

I went out last night with a (now, former) co-worker, the only person (besides the new temp they brought on prematurely) that I actually liked in the whole place. She runs a bar at a resort here at night and had a day off, so we went and hung out at the pool and sat in the hot tub unwinding. I smell like chlorine, and yes, I showered! It was a nice way to end the day, I was pretty relaxed when I got home. I needed that. Shes a hoot.

Usually when I leave a company, I feel even the tiniest bit of a loss. I feel nothing, absolutely nothing. I would say that this was definitely the right thing to do.

So to celebrate my first day of freedom, I had the pest control guy knocking on our door at 7:30am. So much for sleeping in. And I have a full day of buying cat food, shuffling Ashlyn off to various appointments… nope, I don’t see a day of rest in here anywhere. Do you? LOL